Conversations « Come friendly bombs

'Nobody puts Baby in a corner'

Me: Adam, what are you doing over there?
Adam [in corner]: Adam in corner!
Me: ‘Nobody puts Baby in a corner!’
Adam: Adam in corner!
Me [nudging Magda]: Honey, did you hear what I said?
Magda: What? Huh?
Me [proudly]: ‘Nobody puts Baby in a corner!’
Magda: What’s that?
Me: [making 'hello?' face] ‘Dirty Dancing’? ‘Nobody puts Baby in a corner!’? Remember, Jennifer [...]

Short conversations with my bride

This is the closest you’ll get to a picture of us in our pajamas

With god as my witness, I have never seen ‘Angela’s Ashes’

Hmm, ‘Angela’s Ashes’. Remember that?
No.
What do you mean, ‘no’? We saw it together.
I never saw ‘Angela’s Ashes’.
Robert Carlyle, poor family? [makes 'ringing any bells, dumbass?' face]
Since when does Robert Carlyle not play [...]

How lucky I am

On the telephone. Magda and Alek in hospital, Adam and I at home…
Magda: You suck!
Me: . . .
Magda: I was talking to Alek.
Me: I thought you might’ve been.

In the hospital, visiting hours. Our obstetrician has just departed…
Me: Damn! I should’ve asked about who I should see about getting a vasectomy.
Magda: I already asked her.

Pool remains open

Magda [looking at self sideways in full-length mirror]: Look at this! It can’t possibly get any bigger!
Me: That is ridiculous.
Magda: I can’t stand it much longer.
Me: It still seems to me like a dumb way to make new humans.
Magda: How can it work?
Me: It certainly argues against ‘intelligent design’!
Magda: It’s crazy!
Me: What’s wrong with sitting [...]

Big up your language acquisition

Me: Say ‘boo’
Adam: buuu
Me: ya
Adam: auuh
Me: ka
Adam: kuh
Me: sha
Adam: tchuh
Me: booyakasha!
Adam: BUUAUUHKUHTCHUH!
Me: aiit?
Adam: aiit!

The original language acquistion was here.

Ali G. last referenced here.

Okay, maybe I never saw it

Lazy Sunday. The stereo is shuffling through 7,467 songs…
Me: Honey? Moulin Rouge?
Magda: How would you know?
Me: What are you talking about? I saw it.
Magda: When?
Me: Argentina.
Magda: You didn’t see Moulin Rouge.
Me: I think I would know if I saw Moulin Rouge.
Magda: Who’s in it?
Me: Ewan MacGregor, Christina Aguillera, all those bitches. Nicole Kidman.
Magda: Nicole Kidman [...]

Things I suck at #2: optional information TMI edition

Me: Honey, you are overdue for performing your wifely duties.
Magda: You know how it works. You bring me the tweezers, and I’ll pluck your ear-hairs.

Things I suck at’s maiden voyage

What it sounds like inside my head when the hair is being removed from the outside of it

Yeah, as usual: quite short on the sides and front, with something kind of like this, you know?

Maybe even a little bit shorter. Sure, that’ll be good.

I’m a little overdue for this. I hate it when I put it off too long, then it gets all poofy and crazy, and if I put gel in [...]

Short conversations not to have with your wife who is 30 weeks pregnant #1729

Me: [whining] Honey, my ankle hurts.
Magda: [fiercely] My LIFE hurts.

Things I suck at: first in a series, no doubt

I’ve come from a going-away party for a departing colleague, getting the post-party debriefing…
Me: Honey, you know what I really suck at? Making small talk.
Magda: You don’t need small talk. You’ve got a wife.

	Kate on Spring & other vexations 13th Oct 11 19 months? Dude. I stopped by hoping you'd have something here for Sandwich Week. Alas, it was not to be...
	kilowatthour on Spring & other vexations 7th Apr 10 hey! i saw one of these hanging off a tree down the block the other day. i kind of love ...
	jagosaurus on Spring & other vexations 6th Apr 10 Fascinating. I saw these pictures pop up and wondered what bizarre hazing ritual you were being subjected to by your ...
	admin on Spring & other vexations 6th Apr 10 It is a really interesting and charming tradition, and I am nowhere near as cynical about it as this post ...
	Erik R. on Spring & other vexations 6th Apr 10 What an interesting tradition. Thanks for sharing. They're biodegradable, I hope. Or do some trees still have their paraphernalia from Martenitsi ...

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